Monday 9 April 2012

Bollywood Jokes SMS



Mithun Da’s AWESOME Dialogues ..! So Hilarious!











People often talk about Rajnikant, but they forget about the antics and dialogues of our great Mithun da ..

Here are some amazing dialogues from Mithun da’s films. Enjoy !!!!



`



” Bheegi hui cigarette kabhi jal nahi sakti…..



aur yeh tay hai ki teri maut ki taarikh tal nahi sakti ”



`



“Apuun ka naam hai HEERA,



Apuun ne sab ko Cheera…” (wah wah…..)



`



shetty: “kaun hai be tu?”



Mithun da says-



“Mai hoon tum jaise logon se nafarat karne wala,

Garibon ke liye jyoti, Gundon ke liye jwala

tuze banake maut ka Ek niwala,

tere sine mein gaad dunga mai maut ka bhala.

Mila doonga yamraj se tere ko salaaaa.” (what a poetry!!!!!)



`



” kyunki ab mein Indrajeet nahi……chandaal hoon



tum chaho toh mera program note karlo



…tum sab meri diary mein mar chuke ho!



mein chahoo toh tum sabko abhi mar sakta hoon



magar abhi maarne se tumhe maarne ka credit meri bullet ko mil jayega!!!! ”



(kya logic hai!!!!!!!! !,superb! )



`



” Main hoon Do Numbri, ek se jyaada, teen se kam



Dikhne mein bevda, bhaagne mein ghoda, aur maarne mein hathoda …. ” ( amazing )



`



” Jitani tumane saanse li hongi, usase jyaada maine lashein girayi hai



(!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ??????? )



`



Mantriji:- “Ye kanch bullretproof hai. tum mujhe chu bhi nahi sakte”



Mithun Da:-”Ye kanch bulletproof hai magar patthhar proof nahi”



AND HE BREAKS IT BY THROWING STONES ON THE GLASS.



`



And the best one…………….



Mithun da gets a bullet on his leg, Looks at the villain scornfully, calmly stands up and says-



“DUSHMANO KI LAASHON PAR BHANGRA KARNE WALA KABHI LANGDA NAHIN HO SAKTA”



” Koi Shaq..??









A Beautiful Shayari From Fanaa Movie!









Pani se Pyas na Buzi toh Mehkhane ki taraf nikla,

Socha k Shikayat karu teri Khuda Se,

lekin Khuda bhi tera Aashiq nikla….













Top 10 Indian Filmi Dialogues





10. Kuttay, Kameenay mai tumhe jaan se maar doonga



9. Mai tumhara ehasaan zindagi bhar nahin bhuloonga



8. Itnay paisay tum kahan se laaye?



7. Main tumharay bina mar jaa-oongi.



6. Bacchhhaaaaaooooo. ….



5. Yeh anyay hai bhagwan



4. Bataoo, heeray kahan hai.



3. Tum mere liye mar chuke ho.



2. Police meeray peechay lagi hui hai.



—-> And the number one statement is ….

1. Mai tumharay bachhe ki maa ban-nay waali hoon.









ShahRukh Khan’s famous dialogues…









Baabu Ji ne kaha Paaro ko shod do,Paaro Ne kaha sharaab shod do,Aaj tumne keh diya Haweli shod do,ek din aayega jab wo kahegi …duniya hi shod do. Maa mera haweli ke kissi bhi hisse par koi kak nahi…par mein tumhara hissa hoon,jise tum kabhi khud se alag nahi kar sakti.

`

Ik ladki thi anjani si, ik ladke pe wo marti thi…

Jab milti thi wo mujhse , mujhse poocha karti thi ke pyar kaise hota hae pyar kaise hota hae aur mein bas yahi kehta tha….

`

Itni shidaat se main tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai,

hi har zaare ne mujhe tumse milane ki saazish ki hai.

`

Kehte hain ki …… Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho to puri kayanat usey tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai.

`

Aaj aap sabh ne mujhe meri chaahat se milaeya, thank you, thank you very much. Main aap sab ka shukar guzaar hoon.

Ki aapne mere kwabon ko yakeen mein badal diya, itna ki I feel like the King of thee World.

`

Aur aaj, is baat ka bhi yakeen ho gaya, ki humari filmon ki tarah humari zindagi mein bhi end mein sab theek ho jaata hai.

Happys Endings. Aur agar, aur agar theek na ho to woh the end nahin hai dosto, picture abhi baaki hai.

`

Senorita…

Bade bade desho mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai.









Most Romantic Dialogues of Bollywood Hindi Movies









Guide

Aaj Main Kitni Aazadi Mehsoos Kar Raha Hoon!

Jism Jaise Maange Karna Bhool Gaya;

Man Tadapna – Tadpaana Bhool Gaya;

Jeevan Aaj Jaise Mutthi Me Hai !

Maut Jaise Ek Khel Hai!

`

Lagta Hai Aaj Har Iccha Puri Ho Gayi….

Par Ab Maza Dekho, Aaj Koi Iccha Hi Nahi Rahi !

`

Zindagi Pighalkar Prakash Ban Gayi…..

Aur Sacchaai Mera Roop Hai !

Tan Rahe Na Rahe , Mai Rahoonga!

`

Aag Mein Phek Do, Main Jalunga Nahi!

Talwaar Se Vaar Karo, Main Katunga Nahi!

Tum Ahankaar Ho, Tumko Marna Hoga;

Main Aatma Hoon, Amar Hoon!

`

Maut Ye Khayaal Hai Jaise Jindagi ye Khayaal Hai !

Na Sukh hai, Na Dukh Hai

Na Deen Hai, Na Duniya

Na Insaan , Na Bhagvaan

Sirf Main Hoon, Main Hoon, Main Hoon,

Main Hoon…Main ..Sirf Main !!

`



Anand



“Babu moshai, hum aane waale dukh ko kheench taan kar is pal main lee aate hain. Aisa kyon?”

`

‘Anand mara nahi. Anand marte nahi’

`

“Chela jaate jate guru ko sikhaa gayaa”

`

“Babu moshai zindagi aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badal sakte hain na main. Hum sab to rangmanch ki kathputliyan hain jiski dor us upar wale ke haathon main hai kab, kaun kahan uthega ye koi nahin janta “

`









Management Lessons from 3 Idiots Movie









1. Never Try To Be Successful

Success is the bye-product. Excellence always creates success. So, never run after the success, let it happen automatically in the life.



2. Freedom To Life

Don’t die before actual death. Live every moment to the fullest as you are going to

die today night. Life is gifted to humankind to live, live & live @ happiness.



3. Passion Leads To Excellence

When your hobby becomes your profession and passion becomes your profession. You will be able to lead up to excellence in the life. Satisfaction, pleasure, joy and love will be the outcome of following passion. Following your passion for years, you will surely become something one day.



4. Learning Is Very Simple

Teachers do fail. Learners never fail. Learning is never complicated or difficult. Learning is always possible whatever rule you apply.



5. Pressure At Head

Current education system is developing pressures on students’ head. University intelligence is useful and making some impact in the life but it cannot be at the cost of the life.



6. Life Is Emotion Management Not Intelligence Optimization

Memory and regular study have definite value and it always helps you in leading a life. You are able to survive even if you can make some mark in the path of the life. With artificial intelligence, you can survive and win but you cannot prove yourself genius. Therefore, in this process genius dies in you.



7. Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention

Necessity creates pressure and forces you to invent something or to make it happen or to use your potentiality. Amir Khan in this film, 3 idiots, is able to prove in the film by using aqua guard pump at the last moment.



8. Simplicity is Life

Life is need base never want base. Desires have no ends. Simplicity is way of life and Indian culture highly stresses on simple living and high thinking, and this is the way of life: ‘Legs down to earth and eyes looking beyond the sky’



9. Industrial Leadership

Dean of the institute in 3 idiots is showing very typical leadership. He has his own principles, values and ideology, and he leads the whole institute accordingly. This is an example of current institutional leadership. In the present scenario, most of the institutes are fixed in a block or Squarish thinking.



10. Importance Of One Word In Communication

If communication dies, everything dies. Each word has impact and value in communication. One word if used wrongly or emphasized wrongly or paused at a wrong place in communication what effect it creates and how is it affected is demonstrated very well in this movie.



11. Mediocrity Is Penalized

Middle class family or average talent or average institute is going to suffer and has to pay maximum price in the life if they do not upgrade their living standards. To be born poor or as an average person is not a crime but to die as an average person with middle class talent is miserable and if you are unable to optimize your potentiality and die with unused potentiality then that is your shameful truth. One should not die as a mediocre. He/she has to bring out genius inside him/her and has to use his/her potentiality to the optimum level.









Real names in Bollywood





Aamir Khan – Aamir Hussain Khan

Ajay Devgan – Vishal Devgan

Ajit – Hamid Ali Khan

Akshay Kumar – Rajiv Bhatia

Amitabh Bachchan – Amit Srivastav

Ashok Kumar – Kumud Ganguly

Bobby Deol – Vijay Singh Deol

Dev Anand – Devdutt Pishorimal Anand

Dharmendra – Dharam Singh Deol

Dilip Kumar – Yusuf Khan

Govinda – Govinda Arun Ahuja

Jeetendra – Ravi Kapoor

John Abraham – Farhan Abraham

Johnny Lever – Badruddin Qazi

Kamal Haasan- Alwarpettai Aandavar

Kumar Gaurav – Manoj Tulli

Lucky Ali – Maqsood Mehmood Ali

Madhubala – Mumtaz Jehan Begum Dehlavi

Mahima Chaudhry – Ritu Chaudhry

Mallika Sherawat – Reema Lamba

Manoj Kumar – Hare Krishna Goswami

Nana Patekar – Vishwanath Patekar

Raj Kumar – Kulbushan Pandit

Rajesh Khanna – Jatin Khanna

Rajnikant – Sivaji Rao Gaekwad

Rekha – Bhanurekha Ganesan

Salman Khan- Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan

Sanjeev Kumar – Haribhai Jarivala

Shammi Kapoor – Shamsher Raj Kapoor

Shashi Kapoor – Balbirraj Kapoor

Sunil Dutt – Balraj Dutt

Sunny Deol – Ajay Singh Deol

Tuntun : Uma Devi Khatri









Memorable Dialogues Of Bollywood Movies







1)Kitne admi the.? – Sholay (1975)



2)Yeh bacchhon ke khelne ki cheez nahi, haath kat jaaye toh khoon nikal aata hai’ – Waqt (1965)



3)Babumoshai…! – Anand (1970)



4)Aap ke paon dekhe, bahut haseen hai. Inhe zameen par mat utariyega — maile ho jayenge – Pakeezah (1972)



5)Mujhse dosti karoge? Bobby (1973)



6)Mere pas ma hai – Deewar (1975)



7)Mogambo khush hua – Mr. India (1987)



8)Dosti mein no sorry, no thank you – Maine Pyar Kiya (1988)



9)Mein chota sa, pyara sa, nanha sa, baccha hoon – Chaalbaaz (1989)



10)Bade bade deshon mein, aisi choti choti baatein hoti rahti hain – Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (1995)











Shayari from Fanaa Movie…









Dur Humse Jaa Paoge Kaise,

Humko Bhool Paoge Kaise.

Hum Who Khushbu Jo Saanson Mein Utar Jaye,

Khud Apni Saanxon Ko Rok Paoge Kaise..

…………………………………………………………..



Tere Dile mein meri saanson ko panah mil jaaye

Tere Ishq mein meri Jaan Fanaa Ho jaaye.

…………………………………………………………..



Aag suraj main hoti hai ,

Jalna dharti ko padta hai

 mohabbat aankhen karti hain ,

tadapna dil ko padta hai

…………………………………………………………..



Ankhen to pyar me dilki zuban hoti hai,

sachi chahat to sada bezuban hoti hai,

pyar mai dard bhi mile to kya gabrana,

suna hai dard se chahat aur jawan hoti hai….

…………………………………………………………..



Phool hun Gulaab ka

Chameli ka mat samjhna

Aashiq hun aapka

Apni Saheli ka mat samjhna

…………………………………………………………..



Bekhudi Ki Zindagi Hum Jiya Nahi Karte,

Yun kisika ka Jaam Hum Piya Nahi Karte.

Unse Kehdo Mohabbat Ka Izhaar Aakar Khud Karein,

Yun Kisika Peecha Hum Nahin Karte

…………………………………………………………..



RONE DE TU AAJ HAMAKO TU AANKHE SUJANE DE

BAHO ME LELE AUR KHUD KO BHEEG JANE DE

HAI JO SEENE ME QUAID DARIYA WO CHUT JAYEGA

HAI ITANA DARD KI TERA DAMAN BHEEG JAYEGA..

…………………………………………………………..



tere dil mein meri saanson ko jagah mil jaaye

tere ishq mein meri jaan fanaa ho jaaye

adhoori saans thi dhadkan adhoori thi adhooren ham

magar ab chaand poora hain falak pe aur ab pooren hain ham

…………………………………………………………..



E Khuda Aaj Ye Faisla Karde,

Use Mera ya Mujhe Uska Karde.

Bahut Dukh Sahe He Maine,

Koi Khusi Ab Toh Muqadar Karde.

Bahot Muskil Lagta Hai Usse Duur Rehna,

Judai Ke Safar Ko Kum Karde.

Jitna Duur Chale Gaye Woh Mujhse,

Use Utna Kareeb Karde.

Nahi Likha Agar Nasib Me Uska Naam,

To Khatam Kar Ye Zindagi aur Mujhe FANAA Karde.









What’s Similar between Students preparing for Exams and Aamir in movie Ghajini…?





What’s Similar

between Students

preparing for Exams

and Aamir in movie

Ghajini…

Both Can’t Remember Anything After

Fifteen Minutes….









Famous Quotes Of Our Bollywood Stars





“I can smoke anywhere I want to, I am Shah Rukh Khan”- Shah Rukh Khan



“Hrithik (even though he is happily married)

is the ‘take home and show mom’ type of guy.” – Gul Panag



“Just a good body won’t make you sexy” – Bipasha Basu



“Kissing in films is mechanical.” – Shahana Goswami



‘The dog got paid more than me.’ – Chunkey Pandey



‘SRK-Salman spat is no big deal.’ – Preity Zinta



‘Rahul should stop being naughty.’ – Payal Rohatgi



‘I don’t mind Amitabh – Rekha working together.’ – Jaya Bachchan











0 comments:

Post a Comment