Thursday, 29 March 2012

Doctor Patient Nurse Jokes



Of all the types of jokes, the doctor, patient and nurse jokes are the funniest and most hilarious because everyone can identify with them, though most of them are cliches.
Patient and Nurse Joke 

Nurse: You can book an appointment with the doctor only next week by paying 200$. He is in high demand now.

Patient: But I might be dead by then.

Nurse: Oh, don't worry. We will refund 50 percent of the advance if you cancel the appointment. 
Amusing 

Dentist: Stop screaming, I haven't even started pulling out your teeth.

Patient: Yes, but can you please get off my foot. 
The stupid doc 

Doctor: From the look of your eyes, it appears as if you are suffering from cataract and also jaundice.

Patient: You are looking at my glass eye. Please look in to the other one. 
The Clever Patient 

Doctor: You would have almost been dead if not for your regular workouts which helped you keep fit.

Patient: Okay doctor, but please remember this when making the bill. 
The Psychiatrist 

Patient to psychiatrist: I am having lots of hallucinations.

Psychiatrist: Don't worry, you are just imagining it. 
Hilarious Dentist Joke 

Salesman enters the dentist's office and said: I want to rent advertising space on your ceiling. 
Husband, Wife and the Doctor 

Wife: Doctor, my husband thinks that he is a dog.

Doctor: That's no problem. Ask him to come over here and sit on the couch.

Husband: But I am not allowed to. 
Innocent Kid 

Kid: Doctor, when I get well will I be able to play the guitar?

Doctor: Yes, of course.

Kid: That's cool. I have never played the guitar before. 
Silly Patient 

Doctor to his overweight patient: "What is the least you have ever weighed?"

Patient: 7 pounds and 2 ounces, when I was born. 
The grateful patient 

A patient parked his new luxury car outside the clinic and entered the doctor's office. He said, "Thanks doctor for the treatment"

Doctor: 'But you are not my patient".

Patient: "Yes, but my late grandfather was". 
Silly Doc 

Patient: I am very nervous, this is my first operation.

Doctor: Same pinch! 
The cure for amnesia 

The doctor finally found a cure for short term amnesia but forgot what it was. 
The doctor's bill 

Doctor: Tell me your medical history completely to me. To begin with, you can start by telling me if you pay your medical bills promptly. 

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