Haryanvi Jokes

"Main to lut jaoonga"

A Haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death.



"The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him.



"Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the Haryanvi.



"My father was 182 cms tall.







Haryanvi Hero





Akhbaar wala ek haryanavi filmon ke hero ka interview leve tha.



Uste poochan lagya,



"Jungle mein thaare aage sher aaje to tum ke karoge?"



Hero bolya, "Arre manne ke karna se, pher to jo bhi karega woh to susra sher he karega!"







Hanuman ke pass ja

Mandir mein ek aadmi, Ram ki moorti ke aage jor jor se ron laag rya tha. Saath khade Tau ne poochya, "Re bhai ke baat se, kyon itta rove se?" Voh aadmi bolya "Meri lugai ghar chhod ke bhaaj gayi." Tau bolya, "To bawli booch iske aage ke tesu bahan lag rya. Iski to khud kho gii thi, Hanuman ke pass ja, wohe toh ke laya tha!"





"Kyun tai moochhan mein ke brake laag ri se?"

Ek pheri nu hoya ke ek cycle walle ne ek budhiya mein cycle bhida di.



Budhiya bolli,



"Re oot tu itni badi badi mooch ley rya se, tanne sharam ni aundhi mere takkar mar di?"



Cycle walla chora bolya,



"Kyun tai moochhan mein ke brake laag ri se?"









Shaayri

Teli aur jat ki is baat pe kaha suni ho gayi ke kaun ghana syana se. Dona ke beech shayari ka muqabla ho gaya. Pehelan teli ki baari thi. Usne sunaya, "Jat re jat, tere sar pe khat."



Jat ne apna dimag top gear main thok diya aur bolya, "Teli re teli, tere sir pe kohlu."



Teli bolya, "Arre jat ya to koi baat nahi bani."



Jat bolya, "Na banne, sasurre bojh taley to dab ke marega."